Sharing

Here's one thing that I'll share with you guys that has been on my mind...

I think bringing Hailey home at two weeks from the NICU really has its disadvantages. Don't get me wrong. I am trying to stay on the positive side, but there are just some things that can't be ignored.

Number one: The NICU had her on their schedule. Now we have to get her used to ours vs being able to start her off from the beginning with ours.

Number two: I wasn't able to be up there 24/7 to nurse her, so she got very used to taking a bottle. She latches on OK, and I know that takes time, but is it so bad of me to seriously consider exclusively pumping and bottlefeeding her instead?

Speaking of that, Number three: Because I have had to exclusively pump for 2 weeks, my boobs overproduce WAY more than Hailey will ever eat in one sitting right now. That is hard when figuring out how much she needs to eat, because I have no clue how much she gets out of me, not to mention she doesn't nurse for very long anyway, and then I have to pump everything else out, and then I have to guess on what to bottlefeed her the rest. It's easier to just pump it all out and bottlefeed from the get-go. When you get to nurse your newborn from the very beginning, they usually get what they need and your body only produces what the baby needs.

Number four: Was she fussy during the night at the NICU or is it from being here now and lots of stimulation and such? She was an angel whenever we saw her. But then again, we weren't there during the night.

So many things that I wonder about that I just thought I'd share with you.

We love our daughter.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Home

Yes, she is home, and we are very excited about it.

We are also very scared. Well, I am.

I'm not so concerned about her breathing just so much as the whole idea of taking care of a tiny, helpless newborn and having absolutely no clue what to do.

When should I feed her? Should I set a schedule or let her tell me when she's ready?

Is she getting enough to eat?

How do I manage all this extra frozen breastmilk?

Should I have extras on hand just in case she doesn't do well on the breast?

Are we changing her diaper too often?

Is she too hot in those blankets? Is she warm enough?

So many questions. I know. We've only had her home for 6 hours, but still!

These things will come with time. We are not perfect. Every parent started out like this.

I can do it.

Just breathe.

Also, I don't have pictures on the computer yet. They are all on my phone currently and I have not transferred them yet.

But there you have it.

Welcome Home, Hailey!

I Want My Baby Back Baby Back

I just want my baby to come home. I want her lungs to grow strong and to breathe OK and be at home with us.

The Story: Hailey LuAnn Benson

Hailey LuAnn Benson

Feb. 28, 2012

5:15pm

5lbs 10oz

19" long

Born at 37 weeks

I am sure you guys have been anxiously awaiting this long awaited story. I shall now tell it to you.

It all began on Wed. Feb. 22 at what I thought was going to be my normal 36 week appointment. I had been very healthy throughout my whole pregnancy, so you can imagine my shock/surprise when the dr said my blood pressure was up. He said he wanted me on bed rest and if I couldn't keep my blood pressure down, he'd have to induce me next week. He also sent me to Timp Hospital lab to get my blood drawn and do a 24 hr urine collection. How fun.

I called into work on Wednesday just because going to work while trying to collect your urine and refrigerate it just isn't the most convenient thing. I still had the intention of working Thurs and Fri though.

I turned in my pee on Thurs morning and went to work Thurs afternoon, all the while monitoring my blood pressure. Dr called me Thurs evening to check up on me and to tell me about my blood test results. Platelets were fine, but liver enzymes were elevated. He'll have to wait and see what the protein levels were in my urine and after hearing my blood pressure results, no more work. Period. End of statement.

I was devastated.

I was able to keep my blood pressure down all weekend by resting and relaxing, hoping and praying that I wouldn't have to be induced the next week. I got a call from Dr on Sunday evening. Actually, several calls. I didn't have my phone on me and apparently he really needed to get a hold of me.

Urine results: protein levels were way too high. Make sure I come in for an appointment on Monday. Yes, sir, I obliged.

I showed up Monday afternoon to my appointment. He called the perinatologist and discussed my situation with them. He came back in the room and said, "We need to deliver."

Heart pounds.

I'm thinking, So we'll do it in a couple days, right?

Dr asks, "Is your husband at work?"

Yes.

"When does he get off?"

In about a half hour.

"Ok. I'm going to call the hospital. Go on and head over."

This is where it takes a moment to register. You mean tonight?

Yes, sir, I obliged.

And I went out to my car and cried. No, not cried. Bawled. Wept. I was scared!! I wasn't ready for this yet! I wasn't ready for labor and delivery and to be a mom! I was supposed to have 3 more weeks of me time before the big day came!

So I went to the hospital that evening, got there around 5pm. Dr's orders were to start me on two doses of Prepidil gel (to ripen the cervix) - one at 8pm, the other at 2am, 6 hours later. Yes, it was a 12 hour process. And it really sucked.

(last pregnancy picture before delivering!)

Luckily, Hailey was actually already in a really good position when we started. I was already a 1 1/2, almost 2cm, and effaced about 90%.

After 12 hrs of an uncomfortable bed and contractions that I could find no relief for, I was still at a 2. Time to start the Pitocin!

Dr came in right after they started the Pitocin and broke my water and told them to stop the Pitocin. I progressed all on my own from there - about a centimeter an hour. That's right. I was at the hospital a full 24 hours before I even delivered.

I pushed for maybe 20 minutes. She was so small! She had trouble breathing, which we figured would be the case since we were delivering her early.

(First family photo!)

She has been in the NICU since, getting help with her breathing so her lungs can continue developing, but she is coming along beautiful. And speaking of beautiful, she is a BEAUTIFUL baby. She has so much dark hair, a cute nose and chin....no, I'm not biased at all! :)

(First she was on a c-pap machine)

(Scott finally got to hold her!)

(Next, she was put on a ventilator to help her body focus

more on other things and not so much on trying to breathe)

(Now she is just on normal oxygen with a high flow to help

keep her lungs open)

(She also had jaundice for a little bit and had to be put

under the lights. She looks like a little tanning diva!)

We visit her every day, and we hold her every day. I also get the pleasure of pumping every day and taking my milk to her. Pumping. Is not fun.

We are a happy family. We hope to have Hailey home with us soon, and even if that means another week or two in the NICU, I am fine with that, so long as she is getting the help she needs to get fully developed and strong enough to function on her own. We love her very, very much and are very happy to be parents now. Let the fun adventures begin!

P.S. I found this picture. Look at that family resemblance!

Family Pic!

...more soon to come!