Sometimes, it's really hard to see through to the end. Sometimes, when you're right in the thick of things, all you see is what's around you and not appreciate the good things and just want to give up and give in. That's how I feel right now and I hate it.
I feel like I've lost my drive that I used to have. I have so many things I could be working on. I have a half-sorted storage room that needs finishing. You know what that means? There is junk EVERYwhere. I have bills to pay. Do you want to help pay those for me? And I have goals to eat better and exercise better. Things to organize. Carpets to vacuum except we still have to work on getting that rock out of the vacuum first. And all on top of that, it is the HOTTEST summer on record and every day I think I am going to die of heat and that there is no reprieve in my tiny little house and that there seemed to have never been a day when it wasn't hot.
Except we don't have any money to take a drive up the canyon and cool off a little bit. We don't have any days off together to go camping for just one night. I've lost one babysitter and I may be losing my other one. I wish there were things we could get rid of so we didn't have to pay every month, like cars or internet or gas or groceries. Why does this all have to happen at once? I know the Lord is refining us, but sometimes I feel like all I can see is a brick wall. And I don't know how to get out.
On a happier note...we had a dessert party. It was very successful, in the sense that we showed up with our desserts. Eating it, on the other hand, was a different story. I think we all finally realized that night that we were no longer the teenage girls with an endless appetite for anything anymore. Needless to say, much of the desserts were barely even touched. I did, however, contribute to drinking most of the punch. It was cold and I was thirsty.
I love getting together with my girlfriends from high school. I am very grateful we still keep in touch. And I was so happy to have finally seen Whitney's beautiful house! I didn't get a picture of my delicious S'more's pie, but I did get one of the group of us girls.
|Excuse the tired baby.|
I really do love my husband and my beautiful daughter and I would not change either for anything in the world. I know this is just another trial we all have to deal with and when we come out, we will come out on top. It's just the getting through part that's hard.